I would like to start this post by ranting about what I believe will soon be a universally known pet peeve. I'm sure we have all encountered someone yelling into a cell phone in a place where it is impossible not to listen. My dad and others from his generation account for the majority of these people. Well, let me be the first to say that this breach of social etiquette in public places is "so last year." Here is the new annoying fauxpaus that I believe will someday usurp improper cell phone use. It is Skype. Yes, we all agree that the technology is developing fast, and the rates are cheap, but someone must set some boundaries. I am in Bangkok, sitting in at a computer, trying the let my thoughts flow onto this page, and sandwiched between two men yelling into their microphones. "MOM!!!! MOM!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME? OK. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!" The most unbelievable part is that there are only 3 of us in here! And I was here first! All these computers and they chose the two on either side of me... OK, my anger is subsiding with their excitement in whatever it is that they are talking about. I believe I can continue now.
I have chosen to title this post after the state fish of Hawaii. It is not just a pretty fish, but this, pointlessly long, 12 syllable name is also an allegory for how confusing budget travel in Hawaii can be. Accommodation, gasoline, food, and virtually every other aspect is hopelessly expensive. Camping permits are mandatory, they take hours to procure, and are often sold out. However, do not loose hope. These permits, oatmeal, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, pasta, and complete dedication to repeating this routine EVERY day will keep you alive... or at least prolong your inevitable bankruptcy. Thank god I came here to work construction, otherwise I'd be broke.
This trip to Hawaii was the perfect example of how a flexible lifestyle (some would call it joblessness) can bring good fortune. My friend Ramsey offered me a place to sleep (albeit on the floor) on the Big Island, $10/hour, access to the family jeep, and the company of a good friend. Who could turn that down? Not me, so I caught the first flight out South East Asia... Actually it wasn't that easy. Believe it or not, there are very few people that fly from the little island east of Bali where I chose to start this journey, to Kona, Hawaii. Here is what that entailed.
9AM: Bumpy bus ride to harbor.
1PM: The ferry to Bali leaves promptly 1hr late.
6PM: Arrive in Bali and jump into another bus across.
9PM: Arrive in Kuta and search for room (see description of said room in previous posting).
6AM: Wake and head to airport.
9:45am: Fly to Jakarta (2 hour flight, 6 hr layover).
4PM: Fly to Bangkok (4 hour flight 12 hour layover. That's right, 12 hours!).
I don't even know anymore: Fly to Tokyo (7 hour flight 6 hours layover).
What does it matter: Fly to Honolulu (I have no idea. I was completely incoherent by this time). Followed by more layovers before a little flight to Kona.
I think it was around 65-70 hours of sitting, stretching, staring, eating, not sleeping, and cursing my existence. Suffice to say I was in need of a break from travel and happy to see some familiar faces in the airport. Myself, my friend Ramsey and his little brother Ryland spent most of August building a garage. And by "we," I mean Ramsey and his brother Ryland. I guess you could call me "unskilled labor." I was just happy to be stable for a few weeks.
Our routine was pleasantly predictable. Let me summarize the first two weeks. Everyday at 7:30-8:30AM, I would pull the covers off my face, open one eye, unwrap my arms from my pillow/spooning partner, pull out my ear plugs, look up from my bed of cushions on the floor, and say in my best morning voice, "what time is it", even though the clock was right above me. I would ask anyway because I could see Ramsey Ryland watching the Today Show. They've been up for a while and don't ask why two twenty something men watch the Today Show everyday. Then we ate, then we worked, then ate some more, then worked, then ate/watched the Olympics (go Michael Phelps!) and fell asleep early. There is no greater joy than to re cooperate with a healthy lifestyle and watch a month slip by in a blink of an eye.
Oh, I made time for a week of camping in Kauai too. I would like to skip the specifics of that trip, though, buy me a beer and I'll tell you the rest, and limit myself to this one story. Imagine yourself in my position while I describe this scene. Its late, and you are camping on a county beach. Places like these are where local Hawaiian people stay on the weekends. They yell, stay up late and drink beer. We seem to have gotten lucky, though, because our neighbors are quiet tonight and the place is serene. I'm in my tent which I share with my friend Sophie. She is a 21 year old nursing student at Iowa University. We met about a year ago on the summit of Mt Kenya and have kept in touch ever since. In other words, she is a brave girl. Brave enough to spend all her money on a week in Kauai with a guy she hardly knows... and climb mountains too. Its hot on the beach and I am lying in shorts and sweating on top of the sheets. Its that perfect time at the end of a good day where I only am partially aware of my surroundings as I drift off to sleep so I don't pay much attention to the very small shift in the tent. Its the kind of movement, like when you roll over and your shift cause a bottle to fall on its side. Except this is not a bottle, its cold, on my neck, and I can't think of anything we have that would feel like this. I don't know if I imagined this, but I swear there was a skittling sound, like "ch ch ch ch ch." Something foreign is on my neck. That is about the closest I came to an actual thought and the reason why I reached for my neck with a sense of scientific curiosity and not terror. I casually grabbed this thing to look to see what it was.............. AND IT BIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.........
I would like to pause before I relay what it was that bite me... or stung me, I don't really know how a 6 inch centipede injects its poisonous venom... That's right, I was bit be a 6 inch centipede! Can you picture how terrifying this must be?! I mean this is in my tent! The place that we all count on when we camp to protect ourselves from the wilderness. AND IT WAS ON MY NECK!! IN THE DARK!! I apologize for the excessive use of exclamation points. I am obviously not fully recovered. But enough about that, the story must continue. This hideous creature stings me in the dark, I scream in a tone that I would retrospectively call "awkwardly high," and throw it across the tent... but now its loose, and somewhere between us and the door. Sophie, of course, wakes up and thinks I am making this up... That is until I say the word "centipede." Her response is to scream and fly out of the tent faster than anyone would have thought was possible. To this day, I don't even know how she opened the door that fast. Luckily for us, I am a conversationalist, and made friend with our neighbors earlier that night. They are a dread locked couple, living like true spiritual Hawaiians in their tent. They completely took over, thereby earning a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. My finger was swollen and throbbing, and feeling pretty loopy from the quadruple dose of Benedryl that my nurse Sophie just gave me... I was not in the proper state to kill this huge, angry and surprisingly fast thing in my tent. My dread locked angels took care of that, but centipedes don't die easy. They flatten themselves when you try to squish them and it took over 10 minutes to get the job done. Then I got to clean up the guts.
I think I'm going to stop here. I didn't have to go to the hospital and I never really did know how to finish a story. I'm in Bangkok at the moment like I said before. I'm coming from Cambodia and possibly on my way to Myanmar. There will be more stories to report soon. Hopefully they will not involve any insects, though, because I'm over it.
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